Your Leader Is Not Your Friend…And Shouldn’t Be!
Want to be friends with your leader? Think again!
Leaders are important people running a business and getting things done. They don’t have time to coach other people or foster friendships. If your boss is spending time being friendly with you, that means they have less time to spend with shareholders and make the company money. After all, a company is a place of business, not a social club.
I run a good-size company and if I spent time making friends with my people, nothing would ever get done.
Today’s employees, especially the younger generation, want to be friends with everyone and think buddying up with their boss will help their career. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. One in four employees under 25 says they are lonely at work. Good! That loneliness can drive them to work harder instead of getting distracted by friendships.
I was lonely all the time when I started off working in the corporate world and do you know what I did with my loneliness? I channeled into productivity and success. If you’re really that lonely, get a dog and be quiet.
There needs to be a line between bosses and employees. Trying to cross that line and become friends can distract you from your career and pull your boss away from more important tasks. Friends are equals, and you and your boss aren’t equal. They are on a much higher level than you in all areas of life.
Your boss shouldn’t have to know your hobbies, dog’s name, or how many kids you have for you to do your job well. Their time and brainpower are better spent growing the business.
A friendly boss can be seen as a pushover who lacks authority in hard conversations to move the company forward. Being friends with employees lessens a leader’s credibility and makes it easier for people to do sub-par work or make excuses for late assignments. A friend wouldn’t fire a lackluster employee. But a results-driven boss would. And the company would be better off.
Some of the best leaders, like Jack Welch and Steve Ballmer, didn’t waste time being friends with their employees. And they turned their companies into some of the most successful businesses in the world! Instead of getting bogged down being friendly with employees, Jack did whatever he needed to help the company succeed — even if that meant cutting hundreds or thousands of jobs. If you ask me, he could have cut a few more!
If your boss seems distant and unfriendly towards you, it’s because they are. They understand that there’s no place for friendship with employees. It’s obvious your boss knows not to be your friend if they do any of the following:
- Purposefully avoid you in the hallway
- Answer video calls without being on video
- Not call you or any other employees by name
- Avoid small talk
- Ignore personal questions
Your boss has better and more important things to do than be your friend!
It’s not the company’s responsibility to coddle employees and make sure they have friends. Work isn’t a place you come to socialize; it’s where you come to get your job done and earn a paycheck. Work is work, and personal is personal — the two areas shouldn’t blend.
A leader’s job is to lead the company to success — not to make friends. If you think otherwise, you probably aren’t a successful leader like I am.
I dare you to disagree with me.
— The Outdated Leader
Over the last 15 years, I’ve had the privilege of speaking and working with some of the world’s top leaders. Here are 15 of the best leadership lessons that I learned from the CEOs of organizations like Netflix, Honeywell, Volvo, Best Buy, The Home Depot, and others. I hope they inspire you and give you things you can try in your work and life. Get the PDF here.
