10 Unexpected Signs You’re Working with a Vulnerable Leader — And Why It’s a Good Thing!
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If you’re a Chief Human Resources or Chief People Officer, then you can request to join a brand new community I put together called Future Of Work Leaders which focuses on the future of work and employee experience. Join leaders from Tractor Supply, Johnson & Johnson, Lego, Dow, Northrop Grumman and many others. We come together virtually each month and once a year in-person to tackle big themes that go beyond traditional HR.
Not everyone expresses vulnerability in the same way nor does everyone find the same things to be vulnerable. We can be vulnerable during scary or big moments like receiving candid feedback from a trusted peer or when we need to let someone go because of performance issues. We can also be vulnerable every day with small moments such as praising someone on a team, asking for help, or even listening to someone.
Being able to spot a sign of vulnerability in a co-worker will help you respond appropriately and knowing the signs will help you determine how to act when you feel vulnerable at work.
After interviewing more than 100 CEOs around the world from companies like American Airlines, DOW Chemical, Hyatt Hotels, Edward Jones, KFC, Northrop Grumman, SAP and many others, and surveying 14,000 employees around the world with DDI, I identified 10 common signs of vulnerability at work which I go through detail in my latest book, Leading With Vulnerability.
As you go through these, keep in mind The Vulnerable Leader Equation, which is:
(V) Vulnerable + (L) Leader = (VL) Vulnerable Leader
Aka
Connection + Competence = Vulnerable Leadership.
You can learn more about that here:
Recall as well the definition of a vulnerable leader:
A leader who intentionally opens themselves up to the potential of emotional harm while taking action (when possible) to create a positive outcome.
Let’s go through each one so you can understand what they are and why they are important.
Asking for help
Seeking assistance can range from minor tasks, like navigating new technology, to major undertakings, such as soliciting support for a high-stakes client project with looming deadlines. The extent to which a leader feels vulnerable in these situations varies, but it tends to correlate with the significance of the task at hand. For instance, requesting the WiFi password typically invokes less vulnerability than seeking advice on a strategic business decision with far-reaching consequences for the team. Recognizing the importance of both minor and major requests for help is crucial, as each can indicate a leader’s willingness to show vulnerability.
Admitting to a mistake
Admitting to mistakes and embracing accountability is a challenging endeavor for leaders, as it is for anyone. Few people relish discussing their missteps or accepting fault. However, leaders who embody vulnerability transform their errors into opportunities for growth, owning their actions rather than deflecting blame onto others. Acknowledging a mistake or failure openly serves as another indicator of vulnerability, highlighting an important aspect to be mindful of.
Sharing personal information including a challenge or struggle
Disclosing personal details, including challenges or struggles, varies widely among leaders. Many prefer to maintain distinct boundaries between their personal and professional lives, a choice that is entirely valid and understandable. Yet, some leaders are more open to sharing aspects of their personal lives when they deem it appropriate. This openness can foster a deeper connection and understanding within the workplace, illustrating the diverse approaches leaders take towards personal disclosure.
Giving or receiving praise
The common perception associates vulnerability primarily with negative emotions; however, the ability to offer and accept praise also embodies vulnerability, as it entails emotional openness. Expressing feelings of pride, support, or gratitude, as well as welcoming accolades from others, are manifestations of vulnerability. This highlights that vulnerability encompasses a range of emotions beyond the negative, including the positive experiences of giving and receiving recognition.
Being in a tough situation
Understanding the circumstances of others is a crucial and impactful ability, particularly for leaders who embrace vulnerability. While many signs of vulnerability are visible through someone’s actions, there are instances where individuals find themselves in challenging situations. For example, consider being assigned to lead a project or team with a history of underperformance. Reflect on the scenario described earlier with Lard: even without verbal acknowledgment, recognizing the inherent vulnerability in such a situation is vital. It demonstrates that vulnerability isn’t solely about outward expressions but also about the contexts that naturally evoke these feelings in many people.
Listening
Hearing is the passive process of allowing sounds to enter your ears, whereas listening is an active endeavor that demands intention, concentration, dedication, and focus. Effective listening involves tuning into body language, eliminating distractions, posing pertinent questions, and ensuring the other person feels acknowledged and understood. It involves shifting focus from oneself to another, embodying a gesture of vulnerability. This distinction highlights that true listening goes beyond mere auditory reception to include a deep engagement with and empathy for the speaker.
Asking for or receiving candid feedback
Exchanging feedback might seem straightforward, but offering and accepting sincere, unvarnished feedback is often challenging. We’ve all encountered situations where feedback, either sought or given, falls short of being useful — vague, overly positive comments that provide little actionable insight. Conversely, we’ve also experienced moments when feedback, though difficult to hear, has been instrumental in our personal or professional growth. It’s this type of feedback, candid and constructive, that truly contributes to development and learning.
Talking about risk or uncertainty
As time progresses, the landscape of change and uncertainty seems to intensify, particularly in the business world. Leaders often refrain from addressing this uncertainty, as it conflicts with the traditional image of leadership. Admitting to not knowing the answer or being uncertain about the next steps represents a significant display of vulnerability. This openness contradicts the conventional expectation that leaders must always have all the answers, highlighting a more authentic and relatable form of leadership.
Being authentic
When exploring the concept of vulnerability in leadership with CEOs, a recurring theme emerged: authenticity. They elaborated that being authentic entails being true to oneself, maintaining consistency in values, ideals, personality, and emotions across all spheres of life, including at home and at work. This notion underscores the importance of a unified personal and professional identity, suggesting that the essence of vulnerable leadership is rooted in the courage to be the same individual in every context.
Showing sincere emotion
A CEO of a large media company, leading a workforce of 42,000, shared a poignant narrative highlighting her approach to leadership, characterized by a genuine interest in connecting with her employees. She devoted time to understanding their personal lives, including their family dynamics, challenges, and achievements. However, this exchange of personal stories was predominantly unidirectional; while she encouraged her team to open up to her, she seldom reciprocated that vulnerability. This dynamic shifted dramatically when she faced a personal health crisis: a diagnosis of operable cancer detected at an early stage. Facing this critical moment, she chose to break her usual pattern of communication and share the diagnosis with her team, a decision reflecting a profound step towards mutual vulnerability and trust.
Knowing these 10 signs will empower your teams and leaders, strengthen trust and resilience, and help you drive business performance at work.
If you’re a Chief Human Resources or Chief People Officer, then you can request to join a brand new community I put together called Future Of Work Leaders which focuses on the future of work and employee experience. Join leaders from Tractor Supply, Johnson & Johnson, Lego, Dow, Northrop Grumman and many others. We come together virtually each month and once a year in-person to tackle big themes that go beyond traditional HR.
